Stormy Daniel's description of Trump's penis ruins Mario games forever


Stormy Daniels, the pornographic actress who Donald Trump paid to keep quiet about their affair, has made the startling claim that Trump's penis looks like Nintendo character Toad.

"He had a red cap, a Trump crest as a placeholder for the MAGA slogan not one of us could see coming", Daniels writes.

It's awesome how much more descriptive one can get when there's sweet book deal money on the table.

But Daniels's "feminism" loses something in the translation, particularly when the heroine goes into detail about a sexual encounter she had with Trump at his penthouse in 2006. Like a toadstool... I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a d*** like the mushroom character in Mario Kart...

Credit PA
Credit PA

"It may have been the least impressive sex I'd ever had, but clearly, he didn't share that opinion", she continued. News that Mario was packing a lil plumber pipe went viral past year, and now we've got an even crazier penis/SNES story for you.

In the memoir, Daniels also reveals that Trump manipulated his show, The Apprentice, to help the adult film star cheat. "And we can devise your technique", Daniels quotes him as saying, per The Guardian.

The Guardian has obtained a copy of Daniels' book and it includes cringe-inducing descriptions of her night of sex with Trump. Barack Obama, and Trump "repeatedly" mentioned "our plan", but "his attention kept going back to the sharks".

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